Monday, April 29, 2013

Heavy Hearted

My heart has found many reasons to be weary this past year. I have cried tears. Battled fears. Questioned the future of relationships. Sought answers. Been silent. Pleaded for miracles. Dealt with anger and unforgiveness toward others. Feared. Felt isolated and alone. Supported. But through all these heavy moments and thoughts, none of them resulted over any difficult situations directly in my own life. The emotional weight has been for those I love.

bear one another's burdens

Galatians 6:2 became a reality for me. It’s simple and short: Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. One loved one has dealt with false accusation and misrepresentation while another has been desperate to make some sense of his puzzled mind. A friend is in a season of deep grief as loved ones passed away within weeks of each other. A usual rock in my life has needed my strength and support as frightening moments overwhelmed her. A friend from college is facing a devastating diagnosis for her son. I see people deeply grieved by broken relationships. I’ve stood next to them, whether they knew it or not, shouldering some of their burdens. Lifted them in prayer. Ached deep within me for their pain. Longed to be a source of encouragement. Simply felt heavy hearted for them.

While I feel a great sense of contentment for where God has me, these twelve months have whittled away at some of the day to day happiness that used to mark my life. I delight in my children while wishing I could set the world straight on a few things. I laugh at a funny moment with my husband while also feeling my heart plead with God to give others wisdom in making life and death decisions. I share pictures of the fun changes I’m making around my home and then read a devastating Facebook status.

These twelve months have also brought an awareness of God’s sovereignty and power, His peace and comfort, and the joy that comes with bearing one another’s burdens. In Him I take refuge. His righteousness rescues and delivers those I love (Psalm 71:1, 2). Even though I’ve seen troubles—many of them bitter, He will restore my life and will comfort me once more (Psalm 71:20, 21). He is always with me, guiding me with His counsel (Psalm 73:23, 24). And through this awareness, I’ve felt some of the weariness lifting. As though a season of lament is warming into one of new life and hope.

Tonight a friend posted a song that I have had playing on repeat for the past hour. As my tears well up once more, the words wash over me, reminding me that those I love have not been forsaken. He is constant. He is only good. He is sovereign. He is a faithful God and we belong to Him.

1 comment:

  1. Jill, this was beautifully written. Such a great reminder that in everything He is faithful, whether it be our pain or that of someone we care about. I had not heard this song. Like others by Meredith Andrews, my tense shoulders just dropped and I wanted to lean into God. Thank you for writing this and sharing music that ministers to hearts.